Just as you always know where you’re oriented in physical space, you also need to know where you stand in your emotional space. Your body might be located now in a certain room, on a certain street, surrounded by known landmarks, all of which you know precisely and intuitively. You developed a compass of your body’s exact placement in the world very naturally in childhood and never forgot it. It’s your physical reality.
Your emotional reality is the next step, awareness of the world inside you. Without knowing what your emotional reality is, it is difficult to make accurate decisions or be fully present in the moment, especially in intimate or sexual situations. Emotional reality consists of inner weather conditions such as mood, negative or positive feelings, reactions, perceptions, sensations, desire, pain, the interplay of other people’s energies on your own, and subtle intuitive messages sent by the body’s intelligence. Each of us is highly sensitive when we tune into ourselves.
Here’s a way to dip a toe into your emotional reality right now. Start with an body scan and notice any physical pain or tension. Then, turning your eyes inward, scan your inner emotional body, noticing any feelings about that pain or tension, and stay with the feeling as long as possible. For instance, maybe your neck aches and the emotion that flares is anger at your neck. When you stay with the feeling, your anger might deepen into worry, then curiosity about why it hurts. Your emotional reality is actually curiosity, not anger. That is useful information in deciding how you take care of your neck at that moment. Instead of lashing out at your hurt part which could cause more tension and pain, maybe you choose self-care and stretching exercises to explore it. There is no right or wrong way to feel. You are just gathering information. Noticing, sampling, swimming in the feelings is enough. There’s nothing to do or change or judge.
But so many of us ignore and override the inconvenient emotional aspect of ourselves. The big fear is that we’ll drown in emotional overwhelm, so we begin avoiding everything emotional. After a while, people complain of feeling a deadness inside, along with depression, apathy, low sex drive and anxiety. Living in the ivory tower of the analytical mind might feel safe in the short term. But so many of us are locked in a mental space, a hall of mirrors and echo chamber of stories, lost inside the small room of the mind for years. The way out of this dead end is by participating in your emotional reality. Contact me to help you map out your emotional space.